Sunday, January 16, 2011

Things Have Been A Bit Depressing Lately

    Greetings friends and strangers. There has been an awful lot of depressing news lately. What with shootings and floods and all. Therefore I wanted to take a moment to remind you of a very easy way to cope with the worries and stress of modern day life. Enjoy...

Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life - Monty Python (The Life Of Brian)

   I am sorry for the lack of posts lately. I will try to be better about posting next week. Take care and have an awesome day!

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Everybody Loves Cake

   Hello all. I haven't posted in a couple of days due to lack of inspiration. Still having trouble in that area but I heard a new song that I really enjoy and I thought I'd share it with you. Its from one of my favorite bands CAKE.

Sick of You - CAKE

   "Sick of You" was released on 1/11/11 and is the first single from Showroom of Compassion which is available where ever you buy your music these days. Thanks for stopping by and have an awesome day!

Sunday, January 9, 2011

"Coons? When racoons try to get on our back porch, Momma just chase 'em off with a broom."

Better Know A Fictional Character - Part 4 - Crockett the Raccoon

     Everybody knows the stories of Davy Crockett, Kind of the Wild Frontier. He was known far and wide and was always seen wearing his coon skin cap. What few people know is that wasn't just a raccoon skin. It was a friendly raccoon named Crockett. That is actually where Davy gets his last name. When he was a child people would say look here comes Dave and Crockett again. Over the years this turned into simply Davy Crockett. As the young lad grew into a man. He did not want to part with his life long friend so he trained him to sit on his head in a ball resembling a coon skin cap. The two were never apart for long and were always there for each other. No body was found after the Battle of the Alamo so we are unsure what happened to Crockett after his friend was killed defending the fort. Rumor has it Crockett launched a sneak attack on General Santa Anna himself. Crockett crept into the General's tent the night after Davy was killed and leapt the General's neck. The General heard the sound and caught Crockett in mid air with a knife to the gut, killing the critter instantly. Nothing is available to back up these rumors though so we really don't know.

    Thanks for stopping by to read the tale of Crockett. Take care fo yourselves and have an awesome day!

Friday, January 7, 2011

The 1950s Weren't All Innocence And Happiness

   On January 7, 1953 President Harry S. Truman, in his final State of the Union address before Congress, tells the world that that the United States has developed a hydrogen bomb.

First H Bomb Test 

   Ivy Mike was the first H Bomb test. It was exploded at 7:15 am local time on November 1st 1952. The mushroom cloud was 8 miles across and 27 miles high and the canopy was 100 miles wide. 80 million tons of earth was vaporized. This fell to earth as radioactive mud followed by heavy rain. Ivy Mike was the first ever megaton yield explosion. This footage is available in the "TRINITY AND BEYOND™ (The Atomic Bomb Movie)" movie. The 62-ton device was essentially a building that resembled a factory rather than a traditional bomb. At its center, a very large cylindrical thermos flask or "cryostat", held the cryogenic deuterium fusion fuel. A regular fission bomb (the "primary") at one end was used to create the conditions needed to initiate the fusion reaction. In total, 9,350 military and 2,300 civilian personnel were involved in the Mike shot. A large cryogenics plant was installed on Parry Island, at the South end of the Eniwetak atoll, to produce the liquid hydrogen (used for cooling the device) and deuterium needed for the test.

   Are we better off as a human beings for having access to weapons of such awesome destructive power? Yes and No. As a certain superhero said (over and over until we were sick of it) "With great power comes great responsibility!" As long as those that are in charge of these weapons bear this in mind we should be ok. Thanks for stopping by and have an awesome day!

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Thank you Mr. Morse

    Before there was an internet, before there was a television, or radio, before there was even  a telephone there was the telegraph. Today in 1838, Samuel Morse's telegraph system was demonstrated for the first time at the Speedwell Iron Works in Morristown, New Jersey. The telegraph is a device which used electric impulses to transmit encoded messages over a wire. It would eventually revolutionize long-distance communication, reaching the height of its popularity in the 1920s and 1930s. Would this other technology have been created without the telegraph coming along first? Surely something would have come along and one invention doesn't necessarily hinge on the previous. However Samuel Morse saw a need and he filled it. Giving us as a nation a way to communicate with our friends and family over distance. And for this we should all be thankful.

   Thanks for viewing my little blog. Take a moment from your busy life to stop, breathe, and enjoy just being alive. Sometimes things move so fast we forget how wonderful it is simply to be here. Have an awesome day!

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Muppet Madness

   Everybody seems to love the Muppets. They are a happy reminder of the good parts of my childhood for me. I remember watching The Muppet Show on the TV in my parent's room when I was little. It was always entertaining and I can never remember any arguments or yelling while it was on. I thought I'd post a few of my favorite clips from the show and think of happier times.

Ode To Joy - Beaker - The Muppet Show

Manamanah - The Muppet Show

Danny Boy - Beaker, Swedish Chef, Animal - The Muppet Show

   I hope you enjoyed my little trip down memory lane. Take care of yourselves and have an awesome day!

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Happy Birthday Mr. Newton

Better Know A Fictional Character - Part 3 - The Apple

   Today is the birthday of a great man of science. Sir Issac Newton was born on January 4 1643 in Woolsthorpe, Lincolnshire, England.

   Little did this intellectual giant realize that even as a child his greatness had been noticed by an unlikely source. There is a great evil in our world people. Something older and more ancient than mankind itself. The apple is no mere fruit. It is a sentient race of beings that have existed on our planet since prehistoric times. Back in the days of the dinosaurs there was a comet strike. This event led to the extinction of said dinosaurs. This was partly due to the catastrophic damage of the impact, dust cloud, nuclear winter, etc. However it was also due to what arrived in that comet. The cryogenically preserved seeds of a sentient race of fruit. They had existed on their own planet for millions of years. Their constant scheming and manipulation eventually led to the destruction of their sun, wiping out their entire solar system. Fortunately for them they foresaw this and sent the seeds of their race into space to seek out a new home world. Purely by chance this containment field wandered into our solar system and crashed into Earth. Their seeds grew into trees and birthed the first crop of Apples. They psychically fed on the last surviving dinosaurs gaining strength. Once mankind appeared they decided to use us to do their bidding.

   The Apples are stealthy, and cunning so not much is known of their activities until the 1600's. They learned of Sir Issac Newton's work and decided to aid in mankind's knowledge of science. They studied him for many years. They watched and read his research and notes monitoring his progress until the day they finally decided to give him the push he needed.

   One of them dropped onto his head and the theory of gravity was born. This of course was purely for their own good. Apples while brilliant and very much evolved over humans have no arms, legs, or hands to get things done. They therefore need us to carry out their schemes and plans. Even today they sit in silence plotting against us from their headquarters.

    Their goal is simple, complete and total world domination. They make Hitler and the Nazis seem like philanthropists. They keep a tally of every one of their kind we eat, make into pies, or simply smash for fun and revenge will be theirs. The Apple Apocalypse is coming friends and it will change the world as we know it.

   Knowledge is power! Thanks for stopping by to get educated on this serious problem. Take whatever steps necessary to prepare yourselves and your families for the battle to come, and have an awesome day!

Monday, January 3, 2011

A Musical Interlude

   I thought I would take a moment to bring you a few songs I wanted to include in last month's challenge but never found a place for. First on the list is from way back in 1945. Before Weird Al's day but certainly one of the pioneers that blazed the way for him. Its Spike Jones And His City Slickers.

Cocktails For Two - Spike Jones And His City Slickers

   While we are back in the 40's here's another great. I love this song. I've played it in jazz bands, listened to it at concerts and on the radio and it never gets old. Its timeless and just plain GOOD music.

In The Mood - Tex Beneke and the Glenn Miller Orchestra

   Well I got one more for ya from our not too distant past. This one goes back to 1938. The Big Band was still king. Sometimes I really miss those days. They really knew what music was back then!

The Music Goes Round And Around - Tommy Dorsey & The Clambake 7

   Well I hadn't set out to do a tribute to the 40's but there it is. Sometimes we set out to tell one story but end up telling another. Thanks for stopping by dear readers. Take care of yourselves and have an awesome day!

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Sunny Days Keeping The Scientists Away

Better Know A Fictional Character - Part 2 - Mr. Snuffleupagus 

      If you think life is hard when people act like you don't exist, try being imaginary. Big Bird a.k.a the Armpit Snuggler brought this big lovable guy to life. Or did he? The adults of Sesame Street certainly think that is the case. However the children are always able to see him without any issues. Turns out this is not just the innocence of childhood working its magic. Mr. Snuffleupagus as it turns out is on the run and purposely hides his appearance from adults with a special medallion. Who is he on the run from you may ask... Paleontologists. Being one of the last surviving Wooly Mammoths paleontologists have been on his trail for years. They of course wish to kill and dissect him in the name of science. During his run from the law as it were he happened across a VooDoo Priestess deep in the swamps of Louisiana.

   In exchange for his tusks (removed via magical means) she created for him a special invisible amulet. This is of course the reason the proud creature has no tusks to this day. This necklace would obfuscate him from the view of anyone over the age of 10. This is largely dependent upon the way the human brain works, so its not a hard fast rule but more of a generality. During Snuffy's time in the swamp he also met a certain local amphibian at home for a visit.

   The two became friends before the creation of the amulet which is why Kermit was able to see him so easily. During their talks Snuffy told him of his life on the run, his steps to hide himself, and of course his love of cabbages. Kermit suggested he return to Sesame Street with him after the amulet was finished. No one would think to look for him their and their would be plenty of children for him to play with. This idea pleased Snuffy greatly so he happily agreed. Once they returned to Kermit's city home Big Bird was the first Kermit introduced Snuffy to.

   Big Bird held up a giant H for Hello to greet his new friend. The two became fast friends and hung out together all the time. They even started working on a Broadway production in their spare time.

    This of course never got off of the ground. Largely due to the fact that Snuffy couldn't be seen by their target audience. No one wants to financially back a huge crazy bird that sees giant hairy elephants that aren't there. The two are still best friends to this day and live together in the relative sanctitude of Sesame Street.

   I hope you enjoy this little tale. Thanks for stopping by to see what I had to share with you today. Take care and have an awesome day!

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Happy New Year!

   Hello old friends, new friends, and people who managed to wind up here while looking for porn. Well its a brand new year so I put up a brand new background. Try not to stare at it too long. It may or may not cause seizures, dizziness, and or the emptying of stomach contents. So I have been trying to find a new blog challenge to do this month. I looked around on other peoples blogs I know, Binged ideas (Bing, much better than Google!), but came up with nothing. Finally it came to me. After cleaning up and taking a brief nap I decided I would take my idea and run with it. I am a fan of The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. They are the only news programs I watch. I know they aren't "real news" programs but I am OK with that. The real news is far too depressing anyway. On The Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert has several segments with a "Better Know" theme. Such as "Better Know A District", "Better Know A Lobbyist", "Better Know A Beatle" for a few examples. With this in mind I will begin a sporadic series titled "Better Know A Fictional Character". To the best of my knowledge, to date, Mr. Colbert has not done a series of this name. If I am wrong I apologize in advance. My goal is not to plagiarize his show but rather to bring a bit of humor to my readers. Being that it is New Year's Day 2011 I figured what better place to start than with Baby New Year. So without further adieu I bring you...

Better Know A Fictional Character - Part 1 - Baby New Year

    Every year at this time we all see the familiar Baby New Year, but how much do we really know about him? Unlike us he is not human. He is an immortal ethereal being. Most people think Baby New Year and Father Time are separate people.

   This is untrue. Actually they are the same person. Every year Baby New Year grows old at a very rapid rate. On New Year's Eve Father Time poofs into Baby New Year at the stroke of midnight. He then begins to live out his life at super speed. In February he is playful and often dresses up as Cupid.

   Ah how mischievous kids can be. After shooting unsuspecting people with arrows for a few days we don't hear from him much until March. By this time he has managed to grow a beard but hasn't gotten much taller. This is one of the draw backs of his accelerated aging process. He is often mistaken for a leprechaun around St. Patrick's Day.

   The beard allows him to drink and smoke without being bothered to spite his small size. By April he has grown a bit and starts to mature. He realizes, like the rest of us, he has to pay the bills. So he takes a job at the mall as an Easter Bunny.

   The kids wear him down so in May he heads to Mexico. He hangs with the locals drinking and partying. Cinco de Mayo is a fabulous holiday which he very much enjoys. Although he tends to over indulge. The locals report rashes of goat slayings and blame the mythical Chupacabra.

   This being does in fact exist. However the attacks at this time are not because of the Chupacabra but rather due to an overly amorous, very drunk "Baby New Year". Tequila is a hell of a drink! June is largely a blur of running from enraged farmers, the law, and INS agents as he crosses the border into America. All the stress of life on the run causes him to go prematurely gray. Low on funds he gets work in small town parades, picnics, and festivities as Uncle Sam.

   With a bit of money in his pocket he takes the rest of the summer off. He lives a quiet life for a few months out of the public eye. Existing much as you and I do. Various odd jobs sustain him. At Halloween he always takes the opportunity to venture out in costume. Enjoying one last hurrah before the busy season.

   Once Thanksgiving rolls around "Baby New Year" decides to take a job as a mall Santa. All the Halloween candy has gone to his waist anyway so he doesn't even need padding. The children are very taxing but its good money and there are no shortage of openings.

   This job carries him through Christmas. Feeling very old and worn down he takes a week to get his affairs in order. He makes a few appearances at parties around the world as he says his goodbyes. Then once again at the stroke of midnight he transforms into a baby again and starts the process anew. Just another year for the tired and unsung hero of our New Year's Eve celebrations.

   Thanks so much for stopping by. I hope the new year grants you everything you wish for! Take care of yourselves and have an awesome day!