Tuesday, November 23, 2010


Installment 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

   Well if I knew the answer to this I would probably be much happier with my life. I believe everything happens for a reason. Therefore I know I am still alive because I am meant to be. I am even in the place I am in my life because I am meant to be. This has been the only solace to me during the rough patches that make up the quilt of my life. Presently I am living with my Mom & Step Dad while I try to get back on my feet. Perhaps I am meant to be here to spend time with my mother while I can. When I turned 19 I moved in with a couple of friends. Part of the reason for doing this was to get away from her. My folks had gone through a nasty divorce when I was 16 and I was getting to a point in my life when I was finally forming my own opinions about a LOT of things. Among other things, this included why their marriage had failed. My mother was not perfectly innocent in the matter that was finally becoming clear. I needed space to find myself and figure out what my beliefs and thoughts on the world were. My mother remarried a year or so later and moved to Florida with her second Navy husband. We spoke maybe 2 or 3 times a year on the phone and I only saw her twice in ten years. This was more than fine with me but she did not like it at all. With my father now dead I realize more than ever that my mother will not be around forever. So perhaps this is the universe's plan to make sure she is a part of my life. That is the only theory I have anyway. Which is all sort of a tangent as that would be why I am living where I am but not exactly why I am still alive. But I guess if I was dead I wouldn't be living here, lol. Now I HAVE helped a lot of friends, both that I know personally and that I have met online, by giving advice and listening to their problems. I have had a few tell me that if I hadn't been around to be there for them they don't know what they would have done. SO perhaps that is why the universe keeps me around. To serve as an unpaid therapist and friend to those in need.

Thanks for stopping by to see what spilled out of my head. Take care of yourselves and your loved ones and have an awesome day!

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