Monday, November 8, 2010

Three installments, no waiting.

Installment 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.

   I have been fortunate in my life to have supportive friends and family. There have been many times that I have been down and out. Yet because of my network of support I have never been utterly alone. This makes me happy because the one thing I hope I never have to do is live on the streets. There are loads of people that have been discarded by society. They live on the streets, alone, forgotten, and unloved. What a sad state of affairs. It saddens my soul to see people like this. It also scares me deep inside because I know if it hadn't been for my friends and family it could easily have been me. The next time you see a homeless person on the street with a sign begging for some spare change, take a moment, dig deep and give of yourself. You could be saving a life and will certainly be brightening the day of someone that truly needs it.

Installment 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.

   As I said in the last installment I have been blessed in my life with a network of supportive friends and family. There have been many people in my life that have made my life worth living for. As well as people that when they left my life made it feel like I couldn't go on. There is one person in my life right now though that has truly been there for me. They are my best friend and there is nothing we couldn't tell each other. There have been times in the past few years when I gave up all hope. On at least two occasions the only thing that has stopped me from attempting to end the pain was the fact that I knew that this person would be hurt. I would do anything for them without hesitation. In this life your family is there for you, that's usually a given. You can't chose your family though but you CAN chose your friends. This, in a way, makes that relationship even more special. Friends come and go in your life and that's a normal part of living but your true friends are always there for you. You don't get many of these maybe limited to one or two in life. I am certainly grateful to have mine. Melody you make my life worth living for.

Installment 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

   This one has to go to my second wife. I'm not saying we didn't have our share of problems, or that some of them weren't my fault. However as a couple you are supposed to talk through your problems, find a solution or at least a compromise, and try to make things work. It takes two people to make a relationship work though. When one shuts down and refuses to even let the other know what the problem is then what can you do? This happened to us. She was "unhappy" and would start fights with me constantly. When I would try to talk to her and find out what was wrong so we or I could try to fix the issues all I would get was; "I am unhappy. You should be able to tell what is making me unhappy on your own. If you can't tell then the problem is even worse than I thought it was. If YOU don't fix it then there is no hope for us." After a good year or so of this I had finally reached my breaking point and had to get out. You can only take so much of walking into a room saying "Good morning honey!" with a smile and then getting screamed at like you were Hitler's son tracking mud across a thick white shag carpet. Well after I moved out she finally confessed that she had met someone else nine months before I had moved out. She had broken off our marriage after she had met him but we remained roommates and friends during the worst of the screaming and yelling phase. She told me she had wanted me to move out but didn't want to come out and tell me. This was why she had been yelling and screaming at me daily. So rather than being an adult, talking things out and asking me to leave she made me feel like complete and utter shit for the better part of a year, how thoughtful. I am not saying I don't deserve my share of the blame for what led up to it but you could have handled the situation much better. So many times in relationships people aren't willing to talk to each other and give the extra effort to make things work. I was and you still ignored me. That was really a shitty thing to do Kelley.

OK that's enough for now I think. Thanks so much for stopping by and seeing what my mind has to offer today. I hope your day is full of happiness with a side of awesome!


  1. Oh! I teared up a bit! Just as much as I've been there for you, you've been there for me. I thank you for your friendship! *HUGS* I love you to pieces!

  2. I'm liking your honestly and writing. Keep it up, American friend.